What happened when I stopped drinking coffee.

I think back to when I first started drinking coffee. I had just quit my obnoxiously stressful civilian job (where I was highly underpaid for the amount and quality of work I was doing) and began working fulltime for the military. As part of that package, I was afforded time in the morning to work out. Every single day if I wanted to. I decided that I would make the most of that time and signed on with a virtual personal trainer, totally overhauled my eating, and pushed my workouts to places I hadn’t gone in years. I read somewhere that coffee was incredible for pushing workouts to the next level, but I was never really a fan of hot, stinky coffee like I knew growing up. Or the burnt sludge so common in the Army environment.

So one day I picked up an iced coffee from the Starbucks around the corner from my house. And I was hooked. It was refreshing, lightly sweet, and made me feel like Wonder Woman. I began noticing that all the fit girls that I followed on Instagram were coffee drinkers too and always posting their beverage of choice. Soon I gravitated towards unsweetened versions and eventually made the way to triple espressos over ice and the now trendy cold brew. I liked it dark, bitter, and ice cold. And it really did fuel me. When I drink coffee, I feel powerful. Productive. Happy even. I felt more likeable, and like I had the physical AND mental agility to tackle anything.

But gradually I started to feel the after effects. Like I needed it every day. By a certain time every day. Or else I was left with crippling headaches that couldn’t be touched even by my trusty Excedrin Migraine and a nap combo. I noticed I wasn’t drinking as much water anymore since I would nurse my coffee for the entire morning, leaving me feeling severely and perpetually dehydrated. I’ve gained weight, I feel like my skin is lackluster and my teeth are no longer the sparkling white I worked so hard for in my twenties (despite insisting on using a straw at all times). I was anxious. I was sick. I felt like I was constantly on the rebound energy wise – chasing this elusive balance in my life. And perhaps it’s all coincidence. Lord knows there are plenty of successful, happy people who drink way more coffee than I do. But I couldn’t shake the desire to just let it go.

So I did. At the start of the year, I slowly began to wean myself off. I was home for holiday leave, so I began drinking a smaller and smaller glass every day. Then I drank tea of a couple of times. And now I only drink tea if / when I have a really long day ahead of me or have a race or something like that.

So what happened? My skin felt less dry. The fog started to lift and I felt clearheaded like I haven’t in a quite some time. My mood seems more balanced. I’m ironically way less tired – likely thanks to not always being on the rebound. Obviously I’m saving money since I’m not running to Starbucks all the time or even having to buy my own cold brew. I’m only two months in, but I think I’m committed.

Not going to lie and say it’s been all roses. I battled withdrawal headaches early on. I do wake up tired sometimes –we’ve been battling nonstop colds in our household since before Thanksgiving, so it’s been long nights either coughing or holding a coughing baby. I know that a cup of coffee would really help me feel like a human that next morning. And I definitely miss it sometimes…especially when I hear Starbucks has a seasonal drink coming out (hellooooo, PSL) or I see those dreamy, swirly foam images on all my favorite insta pages. But I know long term, it’s best for me and going to pay big dividends.